What are the best ways to go about it? After all, I wanted my proposal to be a surprise, and if she had any idea I had talked with her father it was game over. But if he does ask, and some fathers might ask, have your replies ready. it comes from way back in the day when a girl was her fathers property. After all, he did raise her and a number of her good qualities are a … He is passionate about vintage jewelry and vintage diamonds. Even though the “blessing” is traditionally supposed to come from the father, we think it’s a great idea to include your girlfriend’s mother as well. This is very respectful to do and I really enjoyed this blog. Hopefully you can get a clearer idea of why they might feel this way, and what you could do to help alleviate their concerns. She says she has found the man of her dreams, and is ready to take the plunge. Have a man-to-man conversation with her dad. Tell him how much she means to you. Nobody needs a growing sense of embarrassment waiting for you to get to the point, whether you have an established relationship or not. This, and presenting an engagement ring and having your father give you away on your wedding day. Tip Number 3 – Location of Conversation Complimenting his daughter reflects favorably on how she was raised, which is a compliment for dad as well. In this day and age, no man should need anothers permission. There are plenty of those, and if that is what you are dealing with, don’t bother. im so nervous and i just dont know how to ask the man because he is not the easiest person in the world to talk to. And even though back then asking for your hand in marriage was more of a permission than a blessing, the gesture has clearly stuck around. Asking your sweetheart's father for her hand in marriage is an act that means different things to different people. Are you ready for this kind of commitment? The relationship between them might not be as close as it could be, so she may not be comfortable with you asking her father at all. If the two of you are enjoying an activity you’re used to doing together, it will be more casual when you bring up the ever-so-serious idea of proposing to his daughter. For the purpose of my answer, I am going to assume the girlfriend’s dad is not a complete waste of skin. This is so sexist and evil, Stop doing this!! Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. The concept of the groom approaching his beloved’s parents and asking permission to marry their daughter may be old-school to some, but it is still widely entrenched in American society today. They may not be the primary person to ask, but they still warrant inclusion and the courtesy of being one of the first to know. Chances are you already know whether this can be a constructive conversation or not depending on how well you know the parent, but if there is a time for a calm, rationale back and forth, now would be the time to do it. But why? "Seeking permission to marry my princess, son what's wrong with your big head?" He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time. He needs to know his daughter will be looked after, and that you’re the man to do it. It’s usually just their own apprehension talking… Just remain calm and do your best to navigate around the question. Make sure marriage is truly on the horizon before you stress about how to ask a day to marry his daughter. you did not ask his permission and then hers, you just asked his, and if he thought it was a good move he would give his daughter to you. Here’s how to talk to your girlfriend’s father about getting married: Make sure you and your GF are on the same page about marriage. In fact, the tradition dates back all the way to biblical times. He’ll appreciate the courtesy, and both of you can walk away without any embarrassment. SEE MORE: A Guy’s Guide to Buying the Perfect Engagement Ring. Talking to the mother is definitely something I would suggest as well! A Guy’s Guide to Buying the Perfect Engagement Ring. Here’s a sample script: “I wanted to talk to you today because I have some important news to discuss. How do you ask a father if you can marry his daughter? Assuming she’s already agreed to marry you in principle, there should be no problems. If you don’t know the answer to a question, just say that you don’t know. “When daughters were married, there was a dowry … Thank you so much for taking the time to share your wisdom and thoughts on this. Asking for a parent's blessing or permission was once a standard part of an engagement. That's the essence of the song "Rude" by the band Magic! If not, ask her father if he wants to break the news or if he’s okay with you doing it. Sign up now! Click here to purchase your copy! You can even give them a general date range if you want, so they know now to schedule anything or ruin a potential surprise (they can even play a part in it!). Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. But asking his girlfriend to marry him wasn't the problem; what was making him weak in the knees was asking her father "Will you give your blessing?" In this way you will be able to learn many things that will help you propose marriage to the girl you love. This article assumes that your fiancee’s family are very traditional. How are you planning on supporting your family? Having your facts right might be an odd thing to say, but you don’t know what questions he might ask you in return. This Wedding Proposal Did Not Go As Planned! Yes, take him out to dinner or lunch. Keep reading. A compliment about his daughter is, by extension, a compliment about him and the way he raised her. You would think asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage would be all about the dad. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. I think the best way to start off the conversation is to express to the father your love and admiration for his daughter. This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too. But even if it’s not YOUR cup of tea but you know it would mean a lot to your partner and her parents, it’s a sweet, courteous and respectful thing to do. How early is this commonly done before proposing and, if possible, should it be in person? Whether you think of it as a trend, a tradition, or just a nod to the days of antiquity when women needed their father's approval to be passed from the family to a husband, there are some things you should know before broaching the subject with her father. But my process was much more about making sure my future wife had no idea I ever asked. Tell the parent(s) you are sorry they feel that way, and that you would like to talk about the reasons why. Don’t get flustered. His favorite vintage jewelry era is the Art Deco Era and his favorite type of stone is the Kashmir Sapphire. The sense of foreboding is even greater if your meetings have been few and far between. If you think her parents will be happy for you to marry her, call them and ask to meet for dinner. A piece in the Metro, suggested that if your partner asks your Dad for ‘permission’ then you shouldn’t marry them. The point is that you took the time and effort to reach out in a meaningful way, which is something your future in-laws will definitely appreciate. Jean……It’s far from sexist. or are there past relationship issues or financial ones? Marry the woman who not only appreciates presents but also cares about your savings, your hard earned money. We have the answer for you! Fine Collection of Wedding Rings and Wedding Bands, Curated Collection of Fine Diamond Earrings, Extraordinary Collection of Vintage and Antique Jewelry, Curated Collection of Fine Estate Engagement Rings, 7 Tips On How To Ask A Dad To Marry His Daughter, Complete Guide to Buying an Engagement Ring, Complete Guide to Buying a Vintage Engagement Ring, The Top 15 Celebrity Engagement Rings of 2020. Knowing the man will be important for this part. You only need a minute because, as we’ve already said, you will want to keep things brief and to the point. it evolved into asking his permission and then hers, and now finally is done as a mark of respect to the parents/father. If a … Mention some specific qualities that you love about her. Her mother, step-dad, or even her uncle should be treated with the same respect. Your future son-in-law could be arriving anytime to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage, and you need to be sure before you give your blessing. If that DOES occur (and trust us, it’s not common, so don’t get nervous! If her family are more liberal, it may be more appropriate to ask both her father and mother for their blessing. This Amazing Chipotle Wedding Proposal Just Absolutely Made Our Day, 13 Wedding Proposals That Are Anything But Cheesy, John Stamos Just Proposed in the MOST Romantic Way, A Grandpa Filmed His Own Reaction Instead of a Proposal and It’s Hilarious. By this point, it may be that your partner’s mother already knows. Good luck to those that read this for advice! Here’s one and here’s another. A wet-behind-the-ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law. 8. In 2019, Benjamin co-published the book The Engagement Ring Guide for Men. How well do your daughter and her prospective husband communicate? What Does an Aquamarine Engagement Ring Symbolize? I’m here today because I would like to ask your daughter to marry me, and I would be honored to have your blessing.”. If you don’t live in the same state, a phone call would be the way to go (an e-mail is too impersonal). Think about what you’re going to say, and be sure to keep it simple. The moment is a mountain to overcome in almost any relationship, but I believe it’s a mountain we, as Christians, can capture for the good of the daughter, the suitor, and the father. This is any easy way to compliment him while pointing out the things you love about his daughter. 7 Questions Parents Should Ask the Man who Wants to Marry Their Daughter: 1. He also collects rare antique pins. This blog was built based on his strong belief that there is a responsibility for jewelers to properly educate their customers. If you want to marry my daughter, you bloody well ought to be able to pay for her, was the thinking. Assuming he agrees – which he probably will – shake hands and have a drink to celebrate. Here’s how to talk to your girlfriend’s father about getting married: Make sure you and your GF are on the same page about marriage. 2. Ask him what he would do differently if he could do it again. I’m here today because I would like to ask your daughter to marry me, and I would be honored to have your blessing.” Do You Only Ask the Father? How do you ask for her father’s blessing? A bride may be closer to her step-father than biological father, so take all the family relationships into consideration first. Create Your Registry with The Knot Wedding Registry. One of the best ways you can begin this conversation is by expressing your feeling for his daughter first. It’s best not to be trying to make yourself heard in a crowded bar during the World Series, just as it’s best not to try and have the conversation around the dinner table with the whole family present. Have a man-to-man conversation with her dad. Ask him to meet you at his favorite restaurant, bar or golf course! The conversation needn’t be complicated or lengthy, just explain that you love his daughter, would like to marry her, and it would mean a lot if you could have his blessing. The world we live in today has lost its way and is now missing out on true romance with respect, courtesy and chivalry. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. You will need to tailor your approach a little, but all the points in this guide still stand. It matters very much what your mother says. It may be obvious to say, but make sure your partner is actually going to say yes. Estate Diamond Jewelry has just released a brand new book that will teach you everything that you need to know before popping the big question! Do you have meaningful communication? As nervous as you are, he may be equally apprehensive. ), you’ll want to remain calm and continue the discussion. We think it’s a bit of a shame that this particular custom is fading, with most weddings now announced, rather than requested. It's "Rude (The Dad's Side of the Story)." You may be head over heels with one another, but if you haven’t discussed your future and when marriage is right for both of you, it’s time to pump the breaks and confront that question first. You don’t really have to answer them, but if you do an answer ready, you may as well put him at ease: Don’t volunteer this information if he doesn’t ask! When you meet them, start by expressing how you feel about their daughter and how she improves your life. If you have problems with the suitor, keeping your mouth shut can give her a chance to see it for herself. 15 Rustic Wedding Cakes That Will Make You Want a Barn Wedding, 27 of the Best Wedding Registry Ideas for Your Home. Forget that crazy lady, Jean, who commented. The conversation needn’t be complicated or lengthy, just explain that you love his daughter, would like to marry her, and it would mean a lot if you could have his blessing. Whilst it’s not exactly a fork in the road, what you do during this time could dictate how smooth the future path is for everybody. You are wonderful parents, and I know that (girlfriend’s name) is such a kind and caring person today because of that. Photo by Burnt Exposure Photography. © 2021 Woman Getting Media, LLC. When it comes to asking your father, mother, or both of your parents, it all depends on the relationship. How can you be sure? If her father is no longer alive, or if his whereabouts are unknown, don’t assume that you can ignore this tradition altogether. But what if you do intend to ask for your partner’s hand? Where are you planning on living long-term. This is entirely up to you. May I Marry Your Daughter? You’ve possibly had a million conversations with him over the time you and your partner have been together, but nothing will prepare you for this particular chat. Benjamin was born in New York and joined Estate Diamond Jewelry in 2014. Here’s some advice that a father gave to his son about marriage: 1. Meet the parents first if you can. If you are at this stage of your relationship there are probably a few other things that you’ll want to know: Benjamin Khordipour is one of the researchers and gemologists at Estate Diamond Jewelry. To his girlfriend 's father to ask for her father will refuse give. His job will be important for this part, should it be in person daughter reflects favorably on she... Band Magic I would suggest as well I ’ ve read a of! You want to remain calm and do your best to navigate around question. 'S Side of the best Wedding Registry Ideas for your Home responsibility for jewelers to properly educate their customers express! 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